Tuesday

Nuts and Bolts

Mental Illness- Yay!  It's no longer taboo to discuss.  In fact, in some circles it's downright fashionable.
Don't write any pissy comments about this being too flippant- it's my life.   Trust me, I'm not being flippant, I'm flipping coping here people.  You can come along or you can move on to the next blog.  If you choose to come along, here's the dealio:
I'm posting about my own experiences and a few of those I know and love.  The purpose is to let anyone who cares see what it's like inside the head of a "crazy person".  (again, if you're offended- move along.)
I get to call myself crazy.  For one, I'm a professional.  I have a license and a real paying job.  Part of that job description involves treating mental health diagnoses.  I don't claim to know everything but I've seen some shit.
B: I have paid good money on mountains of my own medical bills to be called lots of long ugly words, mostly ending in -disorder.  So, dammit, I've earned it.  Or at least funded it.
(Yes, this is most certainly the pot calling the kettle weed or however the saying goes.)
And finally; it's the webbernet and I can say whatevery I like because it's also America.  I'm trying to help here so just let me live.

Because of my own history and because of the loverly sort of peeps whom I hope will visit this site I intend to make some distinctions.  I hope to avoid diving in too deeply and causing flashbacks, nightmares, constipation, and other Ruined My Whole Day by Reading Some Random Blog moments.  The examples and events will be listed with sort of a rating system to prepare the reader for content.

The first pile I will call "Everyday Crazy".  This is for the visitors who are just curious if  "I can't-eat-my-M&M's-unless-I-sort-them-by-color" is the real struggle that everyone experiences.  Generally it's no harm, no foul type stuff.  Maybe it annoys the hell out of your partner, siblings, or classmates but nobody's going to jail over it.

Behind door number two is a little more concerning fare.  "Save Up for Bail Money" is the theme. Some will browse by to read from this list just wondering if other people get away with nutty thoughts WITHOUT being spotted by the general public.  Examples are schemes hatched (but never carried out) that may include causing the abbreviated lifespan of the neighbors' annual holiday party, loud car, or bothersome cat.  Again, we aren't talking about actual pet murderers- just those who have thoughts (sometimes elaborate and ornate) of doing things they know they must never do.  [If said neighbors ever were caught sticking a banana in the tailpipe of the teenage boy next door's car there would be hell to pay.  Or at least a lengthy explanation of Beverly Hills Cop humor].

You may be wondering just how deep these waters can get.  Straight to the end of the pier is "Hospital Grade".   This is the tab to avoid if your shrink has told you to stop watching SVU for a while.  Most of these come from truly frightening time spent with people who are "On the Roof", so to speak.  Having been there myself on more occasions than I care to remember, I have a pretty firm grip on the edge.  The reason for this section is not to sensationalize suicide, abuse, or devastating Mental Disease. It is not meant to minimize it either.  It is to help others understand - when a husband says, "How could she have killed herself? I thought she was getting better", or a parent cries "Why wont he just TELL me what's wrong" the one who hurts can't do this for themselves.
That does not mean this speaks for everyone hurting or has every answer. But, hopefully, it has some.

If just one person can point someone they love to these words and that someone "get's it" -then my work here is worth it.

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